I lost my Casserole
I don't know where or how
It was boiling on the stove
I turned around and it was gone.
Carrots, potatoes, onions too
And some
chicken stock to flavour the stew
Fancy spices from around the world
Dil and capsicum, and a few bay leaves,
Some that don't rhyme like rosemary,
That grow in the ground or hang from trees.
Looked inside the toilet bowl
In next door's garden, up a flag pole.
Can't seem to find it anywhere,
Even underneath the cushions on my favourite chair.
Looked inside my old tool box,
Even checked inside the baby's cot.
I lost my Casserole
I don't know where or how
It was boiling on the stove
I turned around and it was gone.
I looked in the pub where I where I stand at the bar
Of course, you've guessed, it wasn't there.
Up on the roof, beneath the eaves,
I went to the park and checked the trees.
Maybe a stray dog snatched it right away,
So I checked the pound. What a waste of a day
I lost my Casserole
I don't know where or how
It was boiling on the stove
I turned around and it was gone.
Maybe I put it somewhere impossible to lose
So I checked on the hat stand, in the toes of my shoes.
Balancing on the dado rail,
Behind the picture frame.
Maybe my lady wants to get lucky tonight
So I checked her knickers, took a sniff down there
I lost my Casserole
I don't know where or how
It was boiling on the stove
I turned around and it was gone.
I heard the rapping at a quarter to four,
Trying to sell religion, door to door.
I thought you'd got it and you thought it was me.
As I looked through the window all that I could see
Was two black suits carrying a big black bag.
Those Mormons did it, wogged it right away.
I lost my Casserole
Now I know where and I know how
It was boiling on the stove
I turned around and it was gone.
So I called the cops to report the crime
Having no doubt in my mind.
They explained that stealing a casserole
Carried a a ten year sentence with no hope for parole.
But being a god-faring man
I had to accept I could be wrong.
So the Mormons got Scott free away
To sell religion another day.
I went hungry 'til I cooked some more
I lost my Casserole
I don't know where or how
It was boiling on the stove
I turned around and it was gone.
Written by Dave Keats 21st August 2017.