Dave Keats songs are © copyright protected.
When I was young the school teacher asked my class
What we'd like to do when that school we quit.
Johnny said he'd like to be a fireman.
R. D. wasn't sure so he just sat tight lipped.
Terry had a yearning for the forces
With the travel and excitement and free kit
But when it came to my turn I said "I'd like some real fun,
I wanna mess around with Dolly Parton's Tits".
They're so big an' soft an' round
She's got enough to spread around
I'd like to grab 'em in my mitts.
They're the talk of the town,
Throughout the wide world they're renown,
Dolly Patron's tits.
When school I quit I got a job of working
As a miner digging coal from the pits
An' all my work-mates locker doors were covered
In pin-ups of the girls they loved the best.
There was Sophia Loren, Anita Eckberg,
Hollywood icons that show their hairy bits,
But who needs all that stuff, Bridgit Bardot's bit of fluff?
I wan' a polaroid of Dolly Patron's tits
They're so big an' soft an' round
She's got enough to spread around
I'd like to grab 'em in my mitts.
They're the talk of the town,
Throughout the wide world they're renown,
Dolly Patron's tits.
Well I trav'led to the U. S. of America
To meet her, who knows maybe steal a kiss.
I followed her on tour for nearly three months
An' most of those cities gave me the shits
New York was too tall an' fast an' violent
And Philly, well it really is the pits.
The only thing that kept me sane
Was my right hand, and who can blame
Me for thinking then of Dolly Patron's tits.
They're so big an' soft an' round
She's got enough to spread around
I'd like to grab 'em in my mitts.
They're the talk of the town,
Throughout the wide world they're renown,
Dolly Patron's tits.
Well Dolly got to hear about my story.
Invited me backstage in San Francisc'.
She was changing from her stage clothes to her casuals
An' I do declare she really looked delish.
Her dress it fell like silk down to her ankles
And her f-cup bra I helped her to unhitch
But then I woke, to my surprise
Two pillows pulled into my eyes
I'd been dreaming of Dolly Patron's tits.
Written while I was in Toronto in September 1973.