Dave Keats songs are © copyright protected.

Cheese On The Chandelier

Cheese on the chandelier
Cheese on the chandelier
I’ve seen some funny things in my life
But none like cheese on the chandelier

Geordies wearing only singlets in the driving snow,
Tommy Cooper, laughing gas, a clown with a big red nose
Custard pie fights, runway models who slip and fall
And why children laugh when they break wind nobody really knows.

Cheese on the chandelier
Cheese on the chandelier
I’ve seen some funny things in my life
But none like cheese on the chandelier.

Bleeper, blooper TV shows, just call them as you will.
The Keystone Cops were funner than the modern day Old Bill.
Dogs that chase their tails and cats chasing torchlights on a wall
and drunks who stagger in circles is funniest thing of all, except

Cheese on the chandelier
Cheese on the chandelier
I’ve seen some funny things in my life
But none like cheese on the chandelier.

Upsets when somebody steps on a banana skin,
Girls dresses tucked into their knickers when they’ve just left the can.
Watching guys stupid enough to piss in the wind.
House of mirrors, monkeys wanking and a million other things.

Cheese on the chandelier
Cheese on the chandelier
I’ve seen some funny things in my life
But none like cheese on the chandelier.