Dave Keats songs are © copyright protected.
When we were married she was dark an' slim,
Pretty face and a models skin.
Then she got pregnant, filled right out.
Never lost that weight again.
'N' I figured it was time for me to go,
So I kissed her once an' I hit on down the road.
Well I banged the first door I came to.
Paid my rent an' said "how do you do"?
They gave me a key an' they showed me the room
An' if I had my chance I'd never go back again.
Margaret's living on the telephone.
I opened up the fridge an' all the food was gone.
Billy's on the toilet like a king on the throne,
He's got the paper, he'll be there all morning.
Johnny's sick, he's in love again.
Pam's got a period, she's in pain.
Everybody's goin' insane with the backstreet bedsitter blues.
I had a flea ridden bed an' a hook on the door.
One mains socket for my radio.
We all took turns in the bath at night
An' got reprimanded if we left the light.
But I worked late an' the water was always cold.
I had to boil up the kettle as I unplugged the radio.
An' the couple upstairs had a drag out fight.
We had to call up the cops to lock 'em up for the night.
I thought of my three hundred pound wife,
An' if I had my chance I'd never go back again.
Margaret's living on the telephone.
I opened up the fridge an' all the food was gone.
Billy's on the toilet like a king on the throne,
He's got the paper, he'll be there all morning.
Johnny's sick, he's in love again.
Pam's got a period, she's in pain.
Everybody's goin' insane with the backstreet bedsitter blues.
Well in the TV. room the TV. set
Was never switched to what I wanted to watch.
There were socks in the kitchen, rabbits in the hall,
An' naked girls you weren't allowed to ball.
On a Saturday morning it smelled like a brewers yard.
There were people there I'd never seen in my life before.
We set the roof on fire for something to do.
Killed the cat to make a stew
An' when I was mugged on the landing I decided to go.
An' if I had my chance I'd never go back again.
Because Margaret's living on the telephone.
I opened up the fridge an' all the food was gone.
Billy's on the toilet like a king on the throne,
He's got the paper, he'll be there all morning.
Johnny's sick, he's in love again.
Pam's got a period, she's in pain.
Everybody's goin' insane with the backstreet bedsitter once again.
Everybody's goin' insane with the backstreet bed once for luck.
Everybody's goin' insane with the backstreet bedsitter blues.