Santa Theresa

Mike's bedroom was adjacent to the main part of the house and next to the pool. The door opened and Bob Starky took three large steps and dived headlong into the water. He did two lengths without surfacing then greeted us with "hi man", while enthusiastically taking our hands and shaking the excess of the water from his long curly locks.

I'd always considered myself to be an animal of extremes but Starky took the biscuit. Dope drink and women. He took them all with a vengeance like they'd never existed before. To all intents and purposes he was the archetypal rock'n'roller. Loud, extrovert, and an egomaniac to the nth degree. And you could bet your sweet buns that if we ever got into any trouble then Starky would be the instigator of it all. We hadn't been in his company for two minutes before he said to Ronnie "I think we should introduce them to Berlin lip". Berlin lip we were later to learn was a euphemism for what a man could expect if he went tongue first into the love organs of any of the employees of a strip joint cum live sex venue on Copa called the New Munich. And yep. You got it. The New Munich was to be our introductory evening port of call.

Apparently a few nights earlier our two acquaintances had been out gallivanting together, and Starky had teamed up with one of the strippers there called Wanda. She really was a dream. Short, youthful, averagely attractive, and with the most amazing body I'd seen in a very long time. Her act was unique in as much as it was the only one that didn't involve any physical involvement with another party, though little did we realise it at the time, but she'd make up for that before the night was out. After various lesbian acts and some guy performing live sex with a skinny little thing that had no tits, Wanda would come on solo in a flamenco dancer's dress and clap her hands and stamp her feet while peeling sown to sweet fuck all.

It was after one such performance followed by a night of lurid sex with Bob that he described to us in great detail that she'd left him to wallow in the memories of it all. And that in turn had left the wild one, swimming in Ronnie's pool as he instigated our initiation to the lip treatment.

Bob and Ronnie's paths had crossed quite by chance earlier in the year, and as they seemed to get along pretty well they'd kept in touch on a regular basis. The piece de resistance of their relationship was that Bob was back in town to shoot a film on the notorious one. Through financial rip-offs over the years from names as diverse as Ford Motors, Malcolm McLaren, and Richard Branson though, The Great Train Robber Ronnie Biggs was very wary towards anybody who wanted to make a deal. Starky however had put his money where his mouth was by going fifty fifty, with cash up front on an island retreat that they'd bought together.

Since the splitting of the Sky Hooks who were one of Australia's more successful home grown bands, Starky their vocalist/guitarist had opened a bar in his hometown of Adelaide. With no longer having a musical career to devote his time to, his regular appearances there had insured that it pulled in enough money to keep him in the style to which he was accustomed, and for a short period after that everything he put his hand to turned to gold. It needed to the way he lived his life though. If he wanted something he bought it and if he still had money left he'd find something else to spend it on. In brief, that was the way that Bob Starky organised his life.

Despite that though, over the next few weeks he would be laying out a lot of hard cash on the flick so he was obviously a little concerned as to whether it would make it to the big screen, small screen or simply to the out-take trash can of the "No Hope Movie Company". For my part I had my doubts as to whether it would be made at all. I mean. At that point he didn't have a film crew. Didn't even know one. All he had was the telephone number of Nino, a cameraman he'd met years before on a video shoot back in Australia.

Throughout the day Bob had hit boiling point several times with the frustration at not being able to get an outside line to the lens-man. Brazil really is the most impossible place in the world to make an international call from. Well maybe Bali's worse but that's a whole different story, and in its own right it's been more than adequately covered in the relevant pages of Comeback.

In what seemed like no time at all the day had passed and it was time to go down to the New Munich. It was in the main sleaze area of Copa, just a stones throw away from the Meridian which brought back so many bad memories from my trip of the previous year. Memories of my first trip to Rio de Janeiro which, before deciding to play the South American tourist game the South American way had been a nightmare like I'd rarely experienced before. Muggins, paranoia, high speed car chases that had resulted in life and death encounters. You name it and I'd experienced it. It's a whole different ball game if you know the rules though and after discarding my camera, jewellery and anything else that made me look like a tourist I had a ball.

Sixteen months later, entering the New Munich we passed two burly doormen into the dimly lit room where nothing in particular was happening for the time being. Before the drinks had arrived though, three of the local girls had acquainted themselves with us while Ronnie got involved in some small talk at the bar. A few spotlights centred on the eight naked girls on stage as the show started up. They licked and sucked, and fondled one another to the slow mesmeric music in the background. It was the cue for our newly acquired female partners to prime themselves (and hopefully us too) up for a bit of business. Jack's undone her blouse revealing her bare breasts and invited him to suck on the dark brown nipples that stood out like goose bumps on a winters morning. It was a gesture that was repeated by the other two girls for Bob and myself, and before we knew what had hit us we had mouths full of tits, hands full of pubic hair, and dicks like soldiers standing to attention.

Throughout the evenings entertainment Starky and I had flitted from one girl to another, discarding the original two, and ending up on the stage near naked doing the samba. For my part I teamed up with a rather large breasted female and Starky sauntered around the floor with the newly arrived Wanda. The rest of the male contingent there must have though that we were part of the act though as at the end of each song they applauded enthusiastically and shouted for more. In a moment of sanity while my partner and I were doing things to one another that I'd only dreamt of doing with other girls, I had a flash in my mind of Mister Cool Conservative Jack. Jack my travelling partner for this trip. Jack Biggs, nephew of the infamous Great Train Robber Ronnie Biggs who not ten hours earlier I'd reintroduced to his long lost uncle who he'd not seen since the day twenty-four years earlier when he was arrested over a family lunch back on the miserable rainy day back in England.

Jack had never been one for exhibitionism and I had visions of him cringing with embarrassment at what I was doing. As I swirled my girl around so that I was facing where he was sitting though, all I could see was the bare rear end of his plaything, standing with a foot on each of the adjacent seats to his, legs spread-eagled, and there was Jack, in the middle, with his head buried in her crutch like he hadn't seen food for a week.

We finally split that joint in the early hours of the morning. Jack with the girl he was unlikely to fuck as by that time he'd eaten most of her sexual organs, Starky with Wanda, me with the big busted floozy who at that point I hadn't been formally introduced to, and Ronnie on his lonesome. In retrospect we should have paid for a girl for Ronnie but it was still all new to us, and if the truth was known we probably both thought that it was all a dream.

When we got back to the house I made for the pool-side and very soon my girl and I would be to start a farce to outdo all farces. I was about half way through a can of beer and my first blow job of the evening when Ronnie literally slipped in behind her and started a threesome. A few minutes later Bob and Wanda perched themselves next to us, presumably for some of the same treatment. While Wanda gave his trouser snake the kiss of life I slipped into her doggy fashion, Jack slipped out with his girl and everybody slipped in and out of one another's partners for an hour solid until we were all literally fucked.

Ronnie, having had his freebie for the night was the first to hit the sack which left the dishevelled remains of the rest of us at the pool-side until whenever. Leaving the others to it I grabbed a towel and took my girl to another part of the patio garden for some serious lovemaking. We wrestled together, going at it hammer and tong when all of a sudden.......squelch. In the dark of the night we'd totally forgotten about Ronnie's pet rotweiler Blitz and his natural tendencies. Being no more than a house dog Blitz had to crap somewhere, and just as I was getting up to full revs I'd put my hand in a pile of dog shit. Talk about passion killers, that was the one to end all.

Full of the joys of life and wide awake when Jack got up the next morning to relieve his body of juices other than those of the love variety, I took the last few puffs of a Marlboro as his un-robed plaything skipped out of bed beckoning a light. Even though it was still an early unearthly hour I couldn't resist a tweak of her nipple though. And as she smiled I noticed something that made me wonder just how drunk we'd all been a few hours before. We couldn't have missed it. No Jack wouldn't have had he known. I toyed with the idea that it was a different girl but it wasn't. The naked body in front of me was one and the same as we'd all entertained ourselves with the night before and not one of us had noticed.

Jack came back into the room and I asked "have you noticed anything funny about your lady"? "What"? "You know". "What"? "Jesus Christ Jack do I have to spell it out for you? She's got no fucking teeth". To this day he emphatically denies it but I've got no reason to lie, and even if I did why would I want to? I'm sure that you must've realised by now that my life is colourful enough as it is without a need paint it for the sake of it, and I can assure you that the events of that evening were all very real with nothing added and nothing taken away.

A few hours later Ronnie finished his chores in time to read the paper and down a cuppa before the eggs, bacon, beans, sausages and the million other things arrived at the table. Jack, who had previously worked in catering had done us proud, and if the previous night's antics were anything to go by then we were going to need at least one good hearty meal a day. It was pretty obvious what the main topic of conversation would be but Ronnie let us into a little titbit of information that until then Bob and I didn't know about. Apparently, at about six in the morning while I was going at it like a fiddlers elbow with busty, Ron had got up for a slash and spotted Jack and his girl, still on the patio, doing a floor show for all and asunder within eye-shot.

The area of Santa Theresa is built on a hillside and so whilst Ronnie's place looked out over the city from one angle, from the other his neighbours looked out over him. Jack didn't give a monkeys though. It didn't matter to him that half the surroundings population would be watching him empty his bollocks while they started their day. He just wanted to get it on with the toothless one, which is exactly what he did as Ronnie watched from the window.

Laughing at the absurdity of the events of the night, we tucked into the offerings at hand as we wondered if it was all real. Jack and I had both done our share of travelling but we'd never had a starter like that. In honesty I'd have to confess that I could've counted my nights like that on one hand. And Ronnie was the one who lapped it up the most. "A true Biggs right down to the end" was his accolade to his long lost nephew. "Are you sure your not a Biggs" he asked me as he referred to our threesome. "Hey man" I retorted. "What was I supposed to say? Even if I'd said no it would've been too late as you already inside her". From those first few hours that we really spent together our future was sealed. In one another we'd seen something that we'd liked and no matter what, after the ultimate reintroduction we were destined to be friends for ever more.