Dave Keats songs are ©  copyright protected.


Romeo  was  sleeping with a runaway waif but there was  none of  funny stuff.
Even if he had the inclination, he was sheer clean out of luck.
Not  to mention the trav'lin' salesman,
Who'd pulled in  from  another place.
Spent the whole night snoring and farting
Keeping everybody awake.

Well there were fifty people at the four ring stove all cooking different meals.
We had tea, lunch for brunch, and dinner somewhere in between.
We were drinking stuff that I'd prefer to smoke. Man it was really weird.
Better leave the front door off the latch.
Hope that everybody disappears.

And there were kids in the alley, screaming for their Mammy
Daddy's gotta give his share.
Heroes from a lost generation, who'd also lost their hair.
Einstein the scientist said to me "I've never had an original thought.
But now I come to think of it
I'm sure I've heard that line somewhere before.

There was an Oriental Guru, travelling with his deaf and dumb bride.
Came and went like a puff of smoke, didn't say hello or goodbye.
Enter the man who had no clothes, there was chaos everywhere.
The whole place was like a sanatorium with suicide in the air.

The priest and priestess missed the sermon, they had other things on their minds.
No time for god or their congregation, they just wanted to spend some time.
Together, no outside influence, but little did they know.
Nobody was planning to leave that place.
Nobody was planning to go.

Everybody had a burden. Everybody had a cross to bare.
Except the jet set rock'n'roll performer who didn't have a care.
Mayhem was his middle name. Insanity his tryst.
And his answer to every negative question was
"Let's go to the pub and get pissed.

But every cloud's got a silver lining.
All good stories have a happy ending.
So I won't spoil it all for you. Here we go again.
Like magic a condor swooped from the sky, whisked everybody away.
And that ends my little story about my trip to Alderney.